Insult #6: You're a monster

You wouldn't be too pissed off if someone called you human, right? Unless there's an adjective in front of "human," then you don't care. If someone were to call you stupid human, ugly human, or puny human, you might not like that. But regular old human? You couldn't care less. If someone called you human, you'd probably just think they liked saying what things are. Human. Door knob. Butt.

If it's true that humans don't mind being called humans, then monsters don't mind being called monsters. Guess what? Mr. Grinch is a monster. He's big, weird looking, and as we've noted before, he's mean. If I was walking down the street, and I saw Mr. Grinch, and I said, "Hello monster," Mr. Grinch would say, "Hello human," and we'd both go along our way.

If I really wanted to piss him off, I'd call Mr. Grinch a who. Then I'd run away really fast, because the Grinch is a monster.

I think I've done enough to demonstrate that I think this insult is crap, so let's briefly move to a question that has been gnawing at the back of my mind.

Why did Mr. Grinch dress up as Santa Claus to steal Christmas? First of all, he's a monster. He could've just run up into Whoville and Deboed all the Christmas trees, presents and roast beast he wanted, and none of those Who's would've done jack.

But maybe Mr. Grinch isn't the strong type of monster. Maybe he's the sneaky type of monster. That would explain the existence of a Santa Claus disguise, but it wouldn't explain the execution. Is the Grinch a complete idiot? That Santa suit was horrible. He wasn't wearing pants! Plus, he's green. You know those little Who's aren't going to think that's actually Santa, kind of like how no one really thinks the black Santa is the real Santa. I mean, that's obviously a black guy in a Santa suit. You might not realize that when you're a kid, but once you grow up, you kind of figure it out.