Sunday, December 8, 2013

Insult #11: You’re a vile one



          adjective

  • extremely unpleasant
  • morally bad; wicked
  • of little worth or value

I’m thinking Mr. Grinch might be indifferent to being called extremely unpleasant, would love being called wicked, but he’d probably throw a Grinch-fit over someone saying he had little worth or value. He’s Mr. Grinch, stealer of Christmas and abuser of dogs. How dare anyone tell him he is of little value. Do you know how hard it is to pull a reverse Santa on an entire town? He had to break into every Who-house and shove every single present, roast beast, and Christmas tree into a big ass red bag, then escape before any Whos woke up. And where did he find that dog? That dog could tow a townsworth of Christmas up a snowy mountain! Mr. Grinch must be the greatest dog talent evaluator of all time. Surely that must be of some value. Who else would be able to predict that some little, nondescript mutt had herculean strength? And the dog was incredibly obedient. The Grinch treated him like crap, and that poor little strong dog still did whatever he was told, even though he clearly had reservations about the entire Christmas stealing plan.

So, pretty strong insult and very true as far as I can tell. Mr. Grinch wouldn’t want anyone to say he was of little value, but his skills as a dog talent evaluator can’t possibly outweigh the potential chaos he can cause on Christmas day. He’s whatever the opposite of valuable is. He’s not exactly valueless, he’s more than that. He makes things worse. Is there such a thing as anti-value? Well, there is now. I’m sure there’s probably an actual word out there I could use, but that would require me to do research that I don’t feel like doing. So, we’re just gonna stick with saying Mr. Grinch has anti-value.

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