noun
- A person who is often drunk.
Ha! Ha! Ha! What? Did he just call the Grinch a drunk? Damn,
son. I thought this was a kid’s show.
Most drunks don’t like being called drunks unless they’ve
taken the first step. If you call a drunk a drunk, he’s likely to shank you,
then have another drink.
The king of sinful sots. Not only is Mr. Grinch a drunk, but
he’s a sinful drunk. He gets all liquored up, then wanders around Whoville
slapping Who ass and getting into Who fights. Pissing in Who alleys. You guys know
what I’m talking about. A typical Thursday night.
Not only is he a grinch that gets drunk then runs around
town committing sinful acts, but he’s the king of that stuff. He’s the best
there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be at getting drunk
off his ass and causing havoc in Whoville.
Is Mr. Grinch even a drunk though? I never saw him take a
sip of liquor, and he seemed pretty sober the whole time. Except when he
dressed up in half a Santa costume and stole everyone’s shit. That seemed like
something a drunk would do.
I know I’ve been kind of drifting towards the Grinch side
recently, but hear me out. Maybe this whole sinful sot thing is just Who
propaganda. The guy lives in a cave. Do you think he can afford a bottle of
booze? Nevermind. The Grinch stole Christmas. I’m sure he could steal a bottle
of whiskey.
Still, Mr. Grinch is stuck in some snowy cave with a dog.
He’s angry. He’s probably been passed over, judged, and unfairly treated by
those Whos, just because of the color of his fur. He wears his greenness like a
curse and suffers failure after failure as he struggles through the Whos
overbearing system of oppression. Eventually, he’s so beaten down and depressed
that even when opportunities for success present themselves, he doesn’t even
know how to take advantage of them. Then, he gets that fire water in his veins
and ruminates on all those failures and missed opportunities. All that anger
and frustration bubbles up and explodes in a volcano of sinful outrage. You
know how it is. A typical birthday.
Anyway, this is a great insult because it sounds awesome, it’s
edgy, and it reminds Mr. Grinch that he’s the king of getting drunk in a snowy
cave while he abuses a super strong dog.
"Kind of drifting toward the Grinch side?" I'm going to have to check your mother's family tree to see if you're related to the sotty rotter! You're beginning to sound like the sympathetic parent who, after his son commits some unthinkable crime, explains how he's just "misunderstood."
ReplyDeleteWhen does the "Whos are unfair to the Grinch" campaign start? How many have signed up for the Million Man March on Whoville? Have you sent out membership applications for the GLBT coalition (Grinch Lovers Belying Truth)?
You disgust me, mister Grinch. You're a sour, glass, of milk! A homeless 3 time killer would have far more class than you Mister GrrriiINCH! If I didn't know any better, I WOULD STILL STAY VERY FAR AWAY FROM YOOOOOOOOOU!
ReplyDeleteWash your mouth out with a nuclear missile
ReplyDelete