Insult #16: You're a nasty, wasty skunk

I’m not sure wasty is a real word. Look at this entry.  Pay attention to the section after “origin” where they’re talking about how the word normally doesn’t appear in their free dictionary. Shouldn’t that be treated as a sign that maybe wasty isn’t a word? Why would you exclude a legitimate word from any dictionary?

There was a time in the recent past when I hated when people used made up words. Words like conversate. Ugh, hearing that word makes my anus clinch. I hated made up words until I started writing this blog and realized I made up words nearly every post. Now I kind of like made up words, particularly words like “wasty,” that are fun to say and paint a picture in my mind.

If the previously linked definition is accurate, I’m thinking Mr. Grinch would be pretty damn pissed. The definitions were “wasteful,” and “excessively fat.” First of all, the Grinch had scrawny pencil arms. Yes, he seemed to have a bit of a belly from drinking too much grinch beer, but he definitely wasn’t excessively fat. And I doubt he’s wasteful. Think about him looking down on all those Whos with all their Christmas food, decorations, and presents in that giant bag. He could’ve burned all that stuff, but he didn’t because he’s not wasteful. You just know he was planning on chowing down on some roast beast as soon as he got home.

Even if wasty is a made up word, I still love the way it sounds. It just sounds like something bad.

“I think that wasty stripper gave me the clap.”

And the chosen animal is the lowly skunk, known for the awful smell they make when they feel threatened. Like someone that has problems with nervous farts. Here’s something you might not know: Some people have skunks as pets. When I first found that out, I thought my tune might change on skunks. I thought I’d see some cute pictures, read a few sweet articles, then I’d think skunks were pretty cool animals. Nope. I looked at pictures, read about this woman, and I still think skunks are nasty and wasty. I’m guessing most people feel the same way. Folks just aren’t all that open to loving stinky things.

So, if Mr. Grinch is a nasty, wasty skunk, that means he’s gross, possibly obese and wasteful, smells horrible when he feels threatened, and has an eternal negative approval rating. Pretty harsh words. Not a nice thing to say if you want to make friends, but it’s a great thing to say if you want to make someone cry. Could you imagine if someone said that to you?

“You are a fat, wasteful, disgusting human being who no one will ever like because of your face-melting nervous farts!”

That, my friends, is a rough insult.