Ugh. There’s nothing
redeeming about having bugs in your mouth. You ever get a bug in your mouth?
You just keep spitting and spitting, but there’s never enough spit, is there?
You don’t want to swallow at all. I’ve slapped at my tongue on more than one occasion
trying to get rid of a bug in my mouth. It’s just a terrible situation.
I just keep imagining
termites crawling around the Grinch’s teeth. The thought gives me the heebee
jeebees. Why are there even termites in there? Does Mr. Grinch have wooden
teeth? If so, why wasn’t that mentioned in the lyrics? That would have been a
solid insult.
As it stands, I have to give
it up for this insult just for the overall uncomfortable feeling it’s giving
me. This entire post is just making my skin crawl. I keep scratching my body as
I write. I don’t know how Mr. Grinch feels about termites, but I’m guessing he
wouldn’t like them in his mouth, especially if they were going to eat his
teeth.
By the way, this post got me
thinking about George Washington. I had always heard he had wooden dentures, but apparently, that's a myth. But it did make me wonder about people that
actually did have wooden dentures back then. Did they have to worry about termites
crawling into their mouths? Would termites just spring off of walls, aiming for
wooden denture Nirvana? Maybe that’s why wooden dentures went out of style.
People were getting sick of termites attacking their mouths.
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