Insult #26: You drive a crooked hoss

This isn’t so much an insult to the Grinch as it is a condemnation of his horse. I don’t think I like that. Horses are noble creatures, however some people pump them full of steroids so they perform better when they race. Apparently, cheating in horse racing happens, and if Mr. Grinch is a crooked jockey, I guess there’s a decent chance he’s going to have a crooked hoss. He’s probably spending a fortune on horse steroids. I bet that’s what he’s giving the dog. How else do you explain the super dog strength?

I have a beagle named Rocket. He’s fairly strong for his size, but if you tie him to a sleigh, there’s no way he’s going to try to tow the thing up a snowy mountain. He’s going to lie down and take a nap. Obviously, Mr. Grinch is using unbelievable amounts of horse steroids to get his dog Max to tow a sleigh up a mountain. He’s probably giving his horse something stronger than horse steroids. What’s stronger than horse steroids? Rhino steroids? Yeah, that sounds right. Mr. Grinch gives his horse rhino steroids.

By the way, is it weird that Tony the tiger said Mr. Grinch drives his horse? I thought you rode a horse. Horses aren’t cars. Man, I always knew there was something weird about that Tony. He was always hanging around kids, talking about how “grrrrrreat” everything was, and his only piece of clothing was a red scarf. Just a really weird tiger.

Anyway, I don’t care for the anti-horse stance this insult takes, and it doesn’t really insult the Grinch directly enough. I do not like insult twenty-six. I do not like it on a list. I do not like it on a page. I do not like it on a stage.

Tomorrow is the last post. If you’ve made it this far, maybe you’ll read one more about the most disgusting sandwich ever.

Thanks for reading!