Insult #17: Your heart is full of unwashed socks

See, now I have a problem. Didn’t we just agree back on insult number seven that Mr. Grinch’s heart was an empty hole? I approved the insult and everything. Even if there’s a bit of hyperbole involved, I expect consistency from insults. Does the Grinch have an empty heart, or is it jammed with dirty socks? Either I can like this insult, or I can like Insult number seven. I can’t do both.

So, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m withdrawing my previous approval of insult number seven, withholding judgement on insult number seventeen, and banishing both to insult purgatory.

This whole thing just gets under my skin because this is a pretty good insult if it weren’t for the inconsistency. Have you ever smelled unwashed socks? If you get an especially ripe pair, they smell like a combination of vinegar and sweat. I don’t know what a heart smells like, but I’m guessing if your heart smells like vinegar and sweat, you might have some problems.

Why couldn’t a different organ have been used? Your kidneys are full of unwashed socks. Your lungs are full of unwashed socks. Your pancreas is full of unwashed socks.

Thanks for reading!