Insult #15: You’re a foul one

If you read the facebook status update, you know this insult analysis is gonna be quick, so here it goes (my thoughts in bold)…

I like beer.

You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch.

Foul

adjective

1.  

offensive to the senses, esp. through having a disgusting smell or taste or being unpleasantly soiled.

You don’t want to smell the Grinch, taste the Grinch, or touch the Grinch. Got it. Wasn’t gonna.

2.  

wicked or immoral.

The Grinch is evil. No shit. He stole Christmas.

Insult verdict? I think we’ve been over this before. On one hand, Mr. Grinch considers wickedness an asset, but on the other hand, he wants a lady grinch to touch, taste, or smell him because, let’s be honest, who wouldn’t? Let’s just call this insult fifty-fifty and move on to me telling you about how I sold out.

My father likes beer.

In order to explain this story, I have to do a bit of self-promoting. I know that might sound like selling out to some people…and those people are absolutely right. I’m selling out son!

My father and I really like beer, so we’re going to start a beer blog. My father just happens to be great man and loyal reader Earl, the only person that has ever posted a comment on this blog. I love him very much, partly because of our shared love of beer, partly because he has invested a zillion dollars in me over the years just because he wants me to have the best life possible.

We’re starting a beer blog because , and I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this or not, my father and I like beer. We also both like to write, so at the suggestion of my wife and mother-in-law, my father and I decided to start a beer blog.

One day, today to be exact, I said to myself, “Self, how about you see how much you can make by pimping yourself out to the almighty internet?”

I figured that way, when me and pops launch our beer blog, maybe I can help him make a little cheddar. A couple of nickels towards repayment of that zillion dollar assistance.

I signed up for this free thing called Google AdSense, that can somehow make money. To be honest, I don’t understand it at all. Right now I can’t really do anything with it because I’m waiting for my application to be approved. You might wonder why my application would be denied. You know who doesn’t have the answer to that question? Me. I don’t have the answer. I can only guess at the circumstances or chain of events that would lead to my application getting denied.

Applicant: Google AdSense sucks balls!

Google AdSense: There’s no way we’re approving this guy’s application.

Also there was this thing called “Google market research invitations,” that I could sign up for. I don’t even know what that means. Hey Google! Not everyone is smart enough to create the best search engine in the world. Speak regular English, not genius English. Loyal reader Earl can understand that crap, but I’m a regular person that only understands regular English.

Maybe trolling Google's AdSense application isn't the best way to get my application approved.

Anyway, once the ads start popping up on this page, I need all three of my readers to let me know if anything funky happens. Like, if an ad pops up in the middle of the page and you can’t read anything. Or if it has ads for porn on it or something. Don’t let a brother have porn ads up on his blog. You know what I mean. Just look out for me and let me know if the ads get in the way or are inappropriate.

In order to make up from my relentless blog whoring, I’ll give you a small snippet of tomorrow’s post.

Can someone please confirm whether or not “wasty” is a legitimate word? I don’t believe the online Merriam-Webster definition is legit.

Thanks for reading!