What this blog is about

This blog is an analysis of the 27 insults (yes, I counted) directed at Mr. Grinch according to the "Mr. Grinch" song. Just a few things I'd like to mention:

1.  Some people might think there are more or less insults than the 27 that I count. So, here's a quick and easy breakdown of my method. If an insult includes the word "with," (for example, "Your heart’s a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots") that counts as one insult. If an insult includes the word "and" (as in, "You’re a crooked jerky jockey, and you drive a crooked horse"), then that counts as two insults. When in doubt, I will make the final decision because it's my blog.

2. I don't consider the fact that he's called "Mr. Grinch" an insult. If you call someone else a grinch, that's certainly an insult to that person, but not in the case of the Grinch. It's the same if you call someone Hitler. That would be an insult because you'd be referring to them as a genocidal monster bent on world domination. Unless, of course, that person's name is Hitler, in which case they might want to consider changing their name to something less inflammatory. 

Anyway, the Grinch can't help that his last name is Grinch. I know a wonderful family with just about the cutest little girl you ever did see. You know what their last name is? Gross. Mr. and Mrs. Gross with cute little girl Gross. However, they aren't gross. That just happens to be their last name.

That does bring up a question though. What is Mr. Grinch's first name? If anyone knows, please tell me. I'm guessing it's Richard. Dick Grinch. If it's not Dick Grinch, then it should be because that guy was kind of a dick. Also, his last name is Grinch and he is a grinch? What are the odds?!

3. The last insult analysis will be posted on Christmas Eve. If I've learned anything during my time here on earth, it's that Mr. Grinch might be a complete asshole on the other 364 days of the year, but he appreciates the love, unity, and camaraderie of Christmas, especially if a lot of weird little creatures are holding hands and singing, and for that, he will be free of insults on Christmas day.